When Brian Bartal and Reinaldo Barbosa met in London in the summer of 2013 while Bartal was on a business trip, kids did not initially fit in the picture. That was before what they describe as their "wake-up call" changed everything.
Bartal, who works in aviation services, and Barbosa, who worked in finance at the time, believed their lives were too all over the place to even consider the thought of kids – literally.
After meeting Barbosa in London, Bartal transferred his job there. Then the couple moved to Dallas, where they married in 2015. Then after Barbosa’s visa was approved, the couple moved back to Europe and settled in Luxembourg. They came back to the United States, first to Seattle and then to Cincinnati in 2017 when Bartal's job was transferred here.
“We never talked about kids in our relationship at all,” Barbosa said.
The couple each had nephews on their sides of the family but was content with entertaining out-of-town guests and friends to fill up their time.
Big house brings bigger aspirations
When they made their way to Cincinnati, they initially found themselves living in temporary housing. After three months, they were finally able to find a home in Anderson Township. The house had at least six bedrooms and around 7,500 square feet. The owners had built the home to raise their five children in and as they turned over the keys, they asked if Bartal and Barbosa would do the same.
“We were kind of like 'No, not really. We're just wanting to entertain and that's going to be the thing for us,' ” Barbosa continued. “And then from that point, the two of us (were) talking after (and asked), ‘Do we want kids? Maybe this is a place to have kids.’ ”
Shortly after, the couple explored their options around adoption. They searched through the Hamilton County Jobs and Family Services website and were touched by the stories of young children in the foster care system looking for a permanent home.
“(The website has), you know, kids, their stories, photos, some of them have videos, their dreams and what they're expecting. (It’s) what they want in a forever home, you know, they want a yard to play baseball, and they'd like to have some pets, and they hope to spend time with their family,” Bartal said.
Barbosa, whose younger sister is adopted, couldn’t help but see her in the children he saw online. After that, looking into adoption was a no-brainer.
“It was just like a wake-up call for both of us,” he said.
From foster family to parenting
From there, the couple got connected with Focus on Youth, a private agency, located in West Chester, aimed at facilitating foster and adoption services for families in the area.
They decided to try fostering first, to understand the process and to make sure it was for them. Up until that point, the couple said their greatest responsibility was taking care of their dogs. But being responsible for another human being was something they’ve never embarked on before.
They went through the process and set their age range for children from zero-10. At the time, they didn’t think they could handle raising teenagers.
On July 5, 2018, while out to dinner with Bartel’s parents, they got a call about a three-year-old boy. The caller asked, would they be willing to foster him? The couple rushed home to greet Lorenzo and was met by his three older siblings as well. The siblings were off to a different foster home whose age range didn’t include Lorenzo.
“I mean, we just instantly connected with this little guy, and there were so many nights, I laid in bed thinking, you know, I want to do everything I can for this little guy,” Bartal said.
Even though the siblings were separated, the two foster families did their best to keep the children together. They had monthly visits with the siblings where they participated in a range of family activities and weekend sleepovers. But when the time came when Lorenzo, now 6, would become available for adoption, the couple began to think of his older sisters and the bond they shared with them.
To them, the girls were excellent. They worked hard and had so many dreams and ambitions. Even though the couple was nervous and weren’t sure they were ready to raise teenagers, something in them knew it was right.
“How could we explain to Lorenzo someday that we had the means to reunite a family or this sibling set, and we didn't do it? How could we explain that? It's so important for them. It's important for him,” Bartal said.
The oldest sibling turned 18 and aged out of the foster-care system, but the couple worked with the agency to have Lorezno’s two teenage sisters, Brooklynn (14) and Nadia (16), transferred into their home.
On August 11th of last year, the couple officially adopted the three siblings.
'A renewed sense of purpose'
As Bartal and Barbosa approach their first Father’s Day this Sunday as official parents, they say they’ve learned a lot about fatherhood – especially during the novel coronavirus pandemic.
Bartal, who travels a lot for work, said the year in lockdown gave him a new perspective on life.
“I've always been extremely focused on my career, and still, just with the nature of my travel, it's, it's difficult," he said. Being a father "really kind of gives me a renewed sense of purpose."
“So I feel just a sense of purpose and achievement, to see this little guy doing math, and to see, you know, Nadia making the cheer team and her excitement. Those are the things that are really incredible, they really matter.”
Barbosa is originally from Brazil and grew up in a large family, but after leaving home at the age of 11 to pursue his studies, he’s always felt a part of his foundation was missing. He says he’s close to his family, but having his own little family here makes him feel better.
“I'm very connected to my family, always going back. And I think somehow I knew that that's what I wanted. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have kids,” he said. “For me, it's about being reconnected to my roots and just transferring all the goodness that I had growing up.”
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