Dear Fiona: So I’m Day 1 in the new house and 278 guys are walking around the property, allegedly laying sod and planting bushes and moving couches while looking at me through the un-curtained windows. Any minute now, I’m expecting a peanut to come sailing across the transom.
I’ve got a newfound respect for what it feels like to live the zoo-cage life.
So what, Doc?
IT'S DAY 3 OF BASEBALL'S NEW ANTI-GUNK enforcement and all I can say is, I can hardly wait for the next pitcher to pull his pants down.
When we said we wanted more action in the game, we didn’t mean pitchers disrobing in front of lots of people. I don’t think.
On Tuesday, after umps checked for gunk three times, Max Scherzer “tossed his glove and hat to the ground, unbuckled his belt and appeared ready to take his pants off,’’ according to ESPN.com.
Oh, dear.
When Oakland closer Sergio Romo unzipped his pants Tuesday night and had them halfway down his rear end, some of us just saw it as hyper-sagging, yo.
“You know, he’s a playful guy," Athletics manager Bob Melvin said.
No doubt.
Some players weren’t so amused.
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“The optics are just absolutely embarrassing for our game, and that's not what I want to wake up and read about regarding our game in the morning, ’’Yankees reliever Zack Britton told USA Today. “If I’m a young kid at the game and I’m asking my dad, “Well, hey, what’s going on? Why are they getting checked?’ What’s he going to say? 'Well, I think everyone’s cheating.’
“I mean, this is what we want the game to be about, like we’re assuming you’re cheating? I just think it’s a bad look.’’
Well, I guess. I think a worse look is blowing leads in extra innings with a bullpen ERA that’s higher than the NASDAQ. But that’s just me.
What I’m really wondering is, what did pitchers think would happen? MLB warned them in spring training that the use of illegal gunk would be scrutinized. Now, it is, and guys like Scherzer and Gerrit Cole are all bent about it. (Trevor Bauer, who tends to talk a lot, was mostly silent on the issue Wednesday night, after the Padres hit three homers off him.)
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If you don’t want to take your pants off (metaphorically speaking) stop using illicit gunk. Zack Britton doesn’t like the perception being created, that all pitchers cheat. Well. . . don’t most of them? Haven’t most of them tried, at some point in their careers, to gain the proverbial competitive advantage?
And no, it’s not about a pitcher’s “dignity.’’ Was Romo worried about that?
We enjoy blaming Rob Manfred for everything from global warming to soggy Wheaties. But I don’t have much issue with how MLB is going about fixing this problem. If you have a better solution, let’s hear it.
Manfred to The Athletic:
“The first two days have gone very well. We’ve had no ejections (for foreign substances), players in general have been extremely cooperative, the inspections have taken place quickly and between innings. Frankly, the data suggests that we are making progress with respect to the issues (in spin rate) that caused us to undertake the effort in the first place.’’
Remember when Dr. Phil said on his show, “If you’re fat, don’t eat?’’ Me neither, but I heard about it. Pitchers caused this spectacle. Pitchers can make it go away. Meantime, enjoy the show. Maybe Trevor Bauer will pop out of a cake one of these nights.
WHEN HE MANAGED THE REDS, BRYAN PRICE would say he believed no starting pitcher should be promoted to The Show until he’d learned to throw a change-up effectively. Fastball, breaking ball, change of speeds. A three-pitch repertoire, at minimum.
So it was very good news last night that Hunter Greene’s debut in ‘Ville featured five shutout innings and a fair amount of change-ups. From the Enquirer:
“He does have a really good one,” (pitching coach Seth) Etherton said. “Against good fastball hitters, it doesn’t matter how hard you throw. He has learned that lesson, and he’s learning to trust that change-up. Now we’re working on a feel for it and the trust behind it.”
More:'I’m still learning:' What Cincinnati Reds prospect Hunter Greene is working on in Triple-A
Greene’s changeup is faster than most, sitting between 88 and 92 mph. It also has some horizontal break as it rotates down in the strike zone, and it keeps hitters off-balance when it’s mixed with his high-velocity fastball.
I’M NOT A SMART MAN, JENNY* so I don’t really understand all the fuss about Name, Image and Likeness. That is, the ability of a quasi-am college athlete to make money off of being him or her. I guess it’s sort of an evolutionary thing. Cro-Magnon Guy didn’t stop scraping his knuckles overnight.
It’s clear times are finally changing, and won’t change back, so why is the NCAA simply not saying, “fine by us, sell yourself’’? Now, it’s passing the buck to the individual states. USA Today:
While some of the particulars of that policy remain to be determined, the basic construct currently under consideration would have schools in states with laws related to name, image and likeness (NIL) follow those laws and schools in states without NIL laws decide for themselves how to proceed. The schools in states without NIL laws would then police themselves.
First, not many college jocks are going to be in high demand to peddle stuff. Second, if they are, they should capitalize. If you don’t own your name, what do you own? Why did this ever need to be legislated?
* Guess the origin of that quote, win fabulous prizes chosen just for you.
RUFUS ALERT. . . We went to the movies Saturday, for the first time in 18 months. A Quiet Place 2 was very good, better by a little than the original. And as much as J. Thinwallet enjoys not paying the huge sum of $5.50 for a matinee ticket, this was a movie you had to see on the big screen. Distancing was enforced, but there were only about 10 people there. Perfectly safe, especially if you wore a mask.
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AND NOW. . .
FunMaster Brien is eating tacos all weekend.
If you are looking for a fun, outdoor gathering where you can sample tacos from numerous local vendors, then you should head down to Covington this weekend for the Rockin’ Taco Festival. Covington Plaza at the Roebling Bridge will be the site for “tacos, taco-inspired food, beer, margaritas, and live music.”
At the time of publication, the participating food vendors are: Mazunte, Taco Dan’s, Antojitos Criollos, Gliers Goetta, Latin Taste Grill, and Montez Mexican Café. The menu on the day looks really good – and branches out beyond simple street taco fare. Queso and chips, quesadillas, and philly cheese steak variant nachos are some of the offerings. And if you aren’t feeling the Mexican cuisine, funnel cakes, loaded ribbon fries, and cotton candy will be for sale as well. Non-alcoholic beverages, beer, and margaritas will be widely available.
There will be DJs, live music, and dancing throughout the weekend while you enjoy the food. You can participate in free salsa dance lessons, Cuban dance lessons, or just enjoy yourself with your own dance moves. Plus fun and games for the kids.
The festival runs Friday 5-11 PM, Saturday 12-11 PM and Sunday 12-9 PM. For more information, please visit www.cincinnatifestivalsandevents.com.
I’m going to Imbiber Dave’s house next time. . .
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . No one plays chords like Keef. From, I believe, his second solo album.
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