EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a weekly column from former sports reporter and editor Mike Bass. Bass will be contributing to The Enquirer by offering advice for sports fans, athletes and youth sports parents and coaches through a weekly Q&A. You can reach him at [email protected] or on Twitter @SportsFanCoach1.
If you are walking around feeling stunned or angry or sad or cheated or empty or cursed or confused or frustrated, you might not look like yourself. That’s OK. Talk a look around you. The Walking Dead are everywhere.
This is the Mourning After. Whatever you feel is exactly how you are supposed to feel after the Bengals lost the Super Bowl the way they did Sunday. It was hard. Sudden. The flags flew, the lead reversed, the comeback stalled, the game ended, your hope shattered.
It was Rams 23, Bengals 20, and it made no sense to you. You couldn’t process this. It was emotion. Pure emotion.
“Devastated,” @bengaljims_BTR described himself in a tweet to me Sunday night, “need counseling Mike.
Of course, he is devastated. This team and this season meant so much to superfan Bengal Jim Foster. He feels this way because he cares so deeply. Same with you. The more it matters, the harder it is to release. As much as you loathe it, you can honor it. When you are ready.
You are grieving. There is no exact timetable for grieving. Everyone is different. When the wound is fresh, you bleed. Let it bleed. Then you will be able to let it go.
“Heart broken,” @elquechi tweeted.
“Ouch,” @DBoechler tweeted.
“💔💔💔,” @FloydKAReplying tweeted.
“Not doing well,” @RainsoftK tweeted.
“Crying,” @robertkrise60 tweeted.
“Been crying a lot tbh, Mike,” @BengalsRocky66 tweeted.
“Worst day of my life,” @X9931073 tweeted.
If this were your worst day, what an amazing life you have led ... but you might not be ready to hear that now. You still are feeling this. You can’t fully process this now.
“Gonna take a few days to heal from this,” @spidamann tweeted.
Exactly.
The ending stunned me, too. I had adopted the Bengals in late December, and then an improbable ride turned into a suddenly feasible Super Bowl title. Watching Matthew Stafford and Cooper Kupp lead the Rams down the field late Sunday, I flashed back to 1989 and Joe Montana to John Taylor. If you did, too, what are you feeling now?
“Somewhere between tears and vomit,” @davidba65863122 tweeted. “Still trying to figure out how we lost. And why do the Bengals only lose Super Bowls on huge, close game drives by the opponents. It’s gonna be vomit I think.”
I snapped out of my flashback by refocusing. I knew there was time for Joey B to be Joey B and rescue the Bengals, and hope returned. Temporarily. The Bengals couldn’t protect Burrow (again) or find a way to get that final yard (again). And I was sad.
Some of you were angry. And still might be. You blame the officials for turning LA’s winning drive into flag football.
“That one call on logan Wilson lost us that game,” @Skull27022126 tweeted, “and it wasn't even a good call.”
“Refs beat the bengals, rams didnt win,” @palewook tweeted. “Shame, was a good superbowl for the most part.”
“Refs waited fifty six mins to start calling penalties on us,” @HulettMax tweeted, “when the rams holding on defense and hitting us right after contact all night.”
“I’m sick … esp since the NFL cheated,” TeeOhhDeeDee tweeted.
“The refs called nothing all day, but I’m not surprised they handed the Rams the game,” @ccm_bearcat tweeted. “The league and TV networks wanted the Rams to win, I was afraid something like that would happen.”
“They (had) played 54 Super Bowls and the Home Team had never won the SB in their own stadium,” @craiganderson61 tweeted. “Now it’s ‘happened’ Back to back and included Brady and The West coast NFL Mecca. Coincidence, NOT.”
Is this reality? Or raw emotion? If you see conspiracies and incompetence, you can feel victimized or enraged. You can blame outside forces when the alternative seems unfathomable. That the game is over. That calls were missed on both sides. That Raiders fans were irate about a no-call against the Bengals in Round 1. That games and championships are won by overcoming adversity.
The Rams overcame the loss of O.J. Beckham and won, completing passes to the one reliable receiver they had left, and stopping the Bengals at the end. The Bengals could not cover Kupp or recover with a tying or winning drive. There was enough time, but not enough blocking.
“Upgrades on O line and see ya in the Super Bowl next year,” @dollahollayo tweeted. “Props to the Rams, they earned it.”
A lot went into Rams 23, Bengals 20. Two teams played. Both contributed to the final result. Did the officials contribute, too? To what degree? Subtract the emotion, and you might see this differently. But you can’t. Not now.
This is personal.
“I was fine for a while but it is hitting me hard rn,” @SuperBowlVonn tweeted. “I just dont know what to do anymore. i feel so empty and worthless.”
Empty is understandable. Worthless might be the emotion of the moment. Detach. Your team lost. Your team is not a loser. Neither are you. In time, you will be able to look at your Bengals and this season differently.
“I feel a mixture of sad, angry, and scared we won't get this opportunity for a long time,” @8080Hail tweeted. “It's really hard to get to the super bowl. Plus I was 8 the last time we went to the bowl. I want to see us actually win one.”
Fear is a familiar companion to so many Bengals fans. Before, it was predominantly over losing another playoff game. Now it is evolving. You know what else has evolved? Your team. Others already are remembering that. In time, you will, too.
“Disappointed,” @The_ScottFord tweeted, “but hopeful.”
“I’m fine,” @bjh1776 tweeted. “It was a fun run. The first interference call at the end was terrible. But seriously not as bad as the non-call face mask they missed earlier that Bengals took advantage. The interference by Apple was legit. Obviously OL gotta get better next year.”
“Deep breathes and keeping it in perspective,” @NHill852 tweeted. “I went from never seeing the Bengals win a playoff game in my lifetime to watching them in the Super Bowl with a very young and talented team. We'll be back, We'll get that elusive Super Bowl victory and that moment will be incredible.”
“Just crushed last night.” @BradyTom0504 tweeted. “But it's a new day and I still love the Bengals. ❤❤❤”
If you cannot find perspective in Super Bowl 56 yet, what if you assured yourself you will, when you are ready? If that does not work, check back here. I can help.
Email Bass at [email protected] or reach out to him @SportsFanCoach1 on Twitter if you want to be included next week. His website is MikeBassCoaching.com.
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