In one week, the Men have gone from Flyover Afterthought to the talk of the nation. On Monday, only Antonio Brown stood between the Bengals and abject media domination.
Rex Ryan says Joe Burrow is the next Tom Brady. That’s a little like saying anybody is the next Elvis. But we’ll take it.
(Remember when Sparky Anderson, then the Tigers manager, said a middling kid infielder named Barbaro Garbey was the next Roberto Clemente? Be careful what you wish for.)
Zac Taylor is coach of the year. Drafting Ja’Marr Chase over Penei Sewell was proof of the team’s front office genius.
The Bengals, not the Chiefs, have the league’s most dynamic offense. Everywhere you surfed the past few days, there the Bengals were, as long as your surfing was limited to sports channels.
The Bengals haven’t been this hot since Vontaze Burfict was concussing people.
No team rides higher at the moment.
Is this good?
Young team, prone to inconsistency as all young teams are. Young head coach, learning on the job. A grand work in progress. The physical is all there already. A busy offseason of acquiring a top-tier free agent O-lineman would fill the one gaping need. The mental?
Coach of the Year?:Making a case for Bengals coach Zac Taylor
Remember, even the most optimistic of us saw this as the season before The Season. The Verge. The Bengals are the debutante, coming out a year before the ball. Are they Kobe Bryant? Or Kwame Brown? (Lookimup, kids.)
Regardless, they’re playing with house money. But we’re greedy and starved for more. No need to remind anyone of the playoff-W drought.
Too damned hyped? Does it matter?
This is where Joe Burrow comes in. This is a reason I call him Saint Joe. If anyone, ever, can deliver town and team a Super Bowl trophy, it’s Burrow. If anyone can save the Bengals for Cincinnati, it’s the saint.
Burrow walks the cocky-confident line better than anyone I’ve ever seen. He has taken over this team’s collective head. Lock, stock and psyche.
He’s Boomer Esiason, circa ’88. Nobody doesn’t believe in him. His swagger is a bit more understated than Boomer’s was. It’s the difference between Athens, Ohio, and New York City. But the effect is the same.
It’s the “elevation’’ that was missing from Andy Dalton’s game. Burrow’s mere presence makes the Men better. Belief in self is a powerful tool in any sport. Burrow’s defiant confidence has been catchy. And he has backed it up enough, no one questions its legitimacy.
All of which means that these Bengals should continue to tread the line between sublimely confident and overly full of themselves. That includes their coach, and that inclusion is important. “A leader of men’’ Burrow called Taylor on Sunday.
A leader of these men, certainly.
They’ll have a playoff game at home for the first time in six years. They won’t be overwhelmed. Probably, they won’t allow the current hype to affect them.
'Right time, right place': Lou Anarumo made his signature call vs Patrick Mahomes
After all, who believes more in the Bengals than the Bengals themselves?
Now, then. . .
INSULTING YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS WHAT HE DOES. . . “I’m from Boston, we don’t have strong accents.’’
Yeah. I’m from DC, and we don’t have lying politicians.
I’m from Hoboken, and we hate Sinatra.
I’m from the moon. Want some cheese?
Brian Kelly has officially broken the BS Meter. He wasn’t just pulling some media guy’s leg. He meant it. Frequent Perusers know that to be the cardinal sin of coaches and their dealings with heathens such as me.
Don’t insult our intelligence. If you’re gonna lie, fine. Lying comes with the territory. Don’t lie and make it seem like you’re putting one over on us.
Doc's Morning Line: Questions facing the Bengals as playoffs approach
THE WORST OWNER IN PRO SPORTS? That’d be Dan Snyder, keeper of what used to be my favorite football Team. On Sunday, a railing broke at his half-filled stadium/tribute to flailing mediocrity, sending a dozen fans spilling into the tunnel leading to the visitors locker room. No one was seriously hurt, though Snyder’s wallet might be, after the lawsuits settle.
It’s a fitting metaphor for The Danny and his crumbled franchise.
Snyder is Example 1A of someone who doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. In three-plus decades of ownership, he has ruined one of the NFL’s flagship franchises while doing the impossible: Turning DC away from its beloved Teamskins.
We had season tickets in the 70s when I was a kid. They were like gold, the big difference being you could buy gold. The waiting list for Redskins tickets was almost as long as the waiting list for Masters badges.
Now, they have a 90,000-seat tribute to Danny’s ego that is 64 percent filled for home games. That’s last in the league by a whopping 14 percentage points, behind even the lowly Lions.
The NFL fined them $10 mil last summer for sexual harassment. They ditched the Redskins name kicking and screaming and only after a huge sponsor threatened to quit them. They haven’t won a playoff game since Jan. 2006.
You people who have problems with Mike? At least he’s a decent human being.
SAY THIS FOR US. . . We might be l’il ol’ Cincinnati, hidden here on the eastern edge of Flyover Nation, but. . .
We’re pretty good at dodging natural (and climate change-made) disasters. Seemingly everywhere else, people deal with fires, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, snow that stops traffic, mudslides, ice and wind. Here, we bitch because it’s cold a couple months a year.
I love California. Wouldn’t want to live there.
I like south Florida. Wouldn’t buy property there, unless I wanted to live in an aquarium.
I lived in Texas. I wouldn’t want to live there. I dislike pretty much everything about it.
Maybe those Best Places lists should add a category, Weather That Won’t Kill You or Ruin Your Life. We’d move up a few spots.
So. . .
If you could live anywhere in the Lower 48 (and if you work remotely, you could) where might it be?
For me, it’s be someplace with no long winter and sunshine at least 300 days a year. It’d be no more than 2-3 hours from mountains and sea. It’d be small, but not tiny or out of the way. Montana sounds nice as a concept.
It’d have some culture and a diverse mix of people and interests. College town, maybe. And good, cheap public golf and a decent airport no more than an hour away.
How does Greenville, SC, sound?
How about Fernandina Beach, FL, on the FL-GA line?
West? Love me some San Luis Obispo on Cali’s Central Coast.
Yours, please.
AND NOW. . .
Funmaster David rocks out in. . . Lebanon?
It's good to be back after a two-week layoff. Although, the Bengals won both of their games in the absence of this segment. Perhaps I shouldn't've written another one until after the Super Bowl?
Anyway, let's take a look at some of the events happening around town this week.
Up in Lebanon at Miami Valley Gaming, the tunes will be in full swing as Model Behavior is set to rock the stage this Saturday night (Jan. 8). With the band performance, races simulcast live all day, and the 1,900 machines buzzing, it is surely going to be a lively atmosphere in Lebanon (which almost seems like an oxymoron). Oh, and make sure you visit the Cin City Steakhouse while you're there. You can't go wrong.
Across the river, Braxton Brewing is continuing their "Tacos and Trivia" Thursday night series. The event, featuring the Taco Fuerte truck and trivia hosted by Last Call Trivia, runs from 7:00-9:00pm at Braxton Barrel House in Ft. Mitchell. If you can't make it this time, or have so much fun that you want to go again, don't fret. The series runs every week.
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Some love for my homeboys, straight outta. . . downtown B-town, Maryland.
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