Today is the day when we all get to honor the most important woman in our lives: Mom. Now, some wives may not necessarily agree with this, but who carried us for nine months before we took our first breath? Then when the nine months were up, they delivered us into the world. Without this process, nothing else exists.
Much has changed through the generations between mothers and their kids. Younger generations hate hearing about how hard the previous generations had it before them. My youth was lived in the 1970s and 1980s. I am now a parent of two teenage daughters. I know parenting is different now. It’s neither better nor worse, just different.
When I was young, my mom strongly encouraged me to work in the yard. Some people might say she forced me to work in the yard. "Force" might be a strong word, as no violence or physical harm was ever involved. It was more of a process of negotiating for which she held all the leverage. A simple example would be "do you want to go over to your friend’s house? Well, you’re not going anywhere until the grass is cut."
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I was also in the situation where my parents divorced when I was 12 years old. I have two sisters but no brothers, so I was the only male left in the house. As we all shared responsibilities, mine always seemed to be out in the yard. I picked up where my dad left off taking care of the yard. Picking up where my dad left off became an honored tradition for me, including writing this column.
When we are young and are given various responsibilities, our instinct is to resist. We couldn’t do anything willingly because doing so would only encourage Mom to give us more responsibilities. The goal on our end was to make the process of getting us to do something so frustrating that she would give up asking.
My mom’s persistence was frustrating at the time. Age has shown me that her persistence is what created the strong work ethic I have carried throughout my life. Over time, I gave up on the futile arguments and willingly did what she asked. When I started doing things willingly, I simultaneously started developing a sense of pride in what I had accomplished.
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Most of the memories of my early accomplishments in life were found in our yard. It was a small yard, but it was full of opportunities. As much as I hated cutting grass at first, I could not ignore how much better the yard looked when I was done. I enjoyed planting the annual flowers. The reward for planting the flowers was the neighbors telling us how our house was the most colorful in the neighborhood. I planted trees that are still growing in our old yard 40 years later.
I am sharing these stories so that you can hopefully relate to the great memories you have of your mom. My mom went to heaven many years ago, when she was just 53 years old. She would have been 80 this year. Like all of us who have lost a parent, I think of her every day. On Mother’s Day, we miss our moms in heaven even more.
If you have younger children, I encourage both moms and dads to invite the kids into the yard and garden. Many of life’s lessons can be taught there, such as a strong work ethic, respect and appreciation for the environment. There is no better classroom for these lessons than the family garden. Happy Mother’s Day, moms! Enjoy the day.
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