It’s time we talk about the elephant in the room. It’s a big elephant, unmistakable. It’s not going away. I didn’t bring it up before now because, well, it’s important sometimes to pick your spots. Nobody wants to be told to keep the noise down in the middle of the party.
The party’s over, or at least it’s on vacation.
Bengals executive Vice President Katie Blackburn has authored a gracious thank you to fans for their support in the season just ended. It’s posted on Cincinnati.com and ran in the Traditional Media.
“This season created a lifetime of memories for me and countless Bengals fans. Our fans across the country and the world got to see Cincinnati at its best. You all made this possible and, for that reason, I gratefully say "thank you."
You’re welcome.
Now, about that elephant.
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The PBS lease is up after the 2026 season, leaving two obvious options for the current AFC champions: (1) Extend the current lease/sign a new one. (2) Leave town.
I don’t know how it will play out, but I’ve been here awhile, long enough to venture a couple scenarios:
Sometime in the coming year or so, we will learn that the Bengals and Hamilton County are discussing a new lease. We’ll also learn that new agreement will include some team demands taxpayers will find odious. The current deal includes language re stadium upgrades that says, basically, “if cool, new stuff is installed in 14 other NFL stadiums, Hamilton County taxpayers must buy the same cool, new stuff for Paul Brown Stadium.’’ Think about that.
The Bengals just performed in a $5 billion, privately funded playpen in LA. Since PBS was built, JerryWorld has risen like Oz from the plains of suburban Dallas, one of 12 new stadia in the league since 2002.
That’s a lot of keeping up with the Jerry Joneses.
Fans around here see The Family as a civic punching bag. But in 22 years, the team has asked for no major stadium improvements beyond a new scoreboard and wi-fi capabilities inside the building. The scoreboard cost $10 million in 2015. The county paid $7.5 mil, the Bengals the rest.
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But with every new goodie added to other stadiums – and the luxury built into the new places -- the price tag here will go up. If there’s one thing The Fam likes as much as trophies, it’s leverage. It had leverage before the team won the AFC championship. For every town struggling financially to keep its pro sports teams, there are half a dozen other suckers, er, towns, eager to give them keys to the city.
If the county gets hit with an upgrade list that it can’t pay for, the obvious solution would be a tax increase. You’d have to vote to approve that. Would you?
When the Bengals drafted Joe Burrow, I christened him Saint Joe for a reason. If he were good enough to elevate the Bengals beyond mediocrity, public sentiment for a new levy might be swayed. It’d be hard to say no to a Super Bowl champ. Saint Saves Football!
Burrow has delivered, at least for a year. If a new levy were on the ballot tomorrow, it might pass. Three years from now?
Expect some major battles and attempts at thoughtful soul searching about the viability of expensive pro sports teams in smaller towns. We don’t have until 2026 to figure this out. The Bengals would want some answers well before then.
Stan Kroenke moved the Rams to LA from St. Louis, partly because Looie couldn’t pay the for the upgrades the Rams were entitled to, as set forth in the lease. Kroenke ended up paying St. Louis something close to $1 billion to leave. That was pocket change to him, compared to the money he’ll make in Los Angeles.
No telling what will happen here. Except it almost certainly will be contentious. And possibly, not feasible.
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Now, then . . .
THIS SEEMS FAIR. . . Michigan men's basketball coach Juwan Howard has been suspended five games -- the remainder of the regular season -- and fined $40,000 for hitting Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Krabbenhoft in the face after Sunday's game, the Big Ten Conference announced on Monday. (ESPN.com)
Some folks yesterday in This Space wanted Howard pilloried in the town square. I thought the notion of grown-men coaches fighting in the handshake line to be ridiculous enough to lampoon. So I lampooned it. Some Mobsters didn’t appreciate the effort. Oh, well.
YOUR DAILY BS BASEBALL UPDATE . . . The two sides met for five hours Monday. Much jewelry-rattling ensued. Participants argued over what the takeout order should be for lunch. Owners wanted turkey on rye, players preferred pastrami. In what was seen as a major breakthrough, owners conceded to have the pastrami.
Additionally, the sides agreed that further discussions must include a mandatory 30-minute recess, so everyone could catch up on the replays of Judge Judy.
Meanwhile, Tony Clark and Dan Halem argued over simple math.
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“Two-plus-two equaled four yesterday, it equals four today and it will equal four tomorrow,’’ Clark suggested.
“Two-plus-two equals five,’’ Halem countered.
Does not.
Does too.
Finally, after furious debate, Rob Manfred and Scott Boras agreed to a 5-round steel cage event on Saturday night, and to donate the proceeds to the players Lamborghini fund, which has become dangerously low since the lockout began.
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What actually happened Monday, according to ESPN.com:
Major economic issues, including the competitive balance tax, minimum salaries and revenue sharing, weren't addressed in a meaningful way on Monday, according to sources familiar with the talks.
SET MY HAIR ON FIRE last night, thanks to a couple Old Forester Single Barrel, Barrel-Strength bourbons provided by my pal Milford Todd. They checked in at 131.5 proof. We used the spillage to torch Todd’s house.
I liked them, but I had to wait at least 10 minutes for the ice cube to melt sufficiently.
So . . . do you like rocket-fuel bourbon? Todd suggests the high alcohol content allows for more tastes, as the ice melts. I agreed. But I get much the same experience drinking a masterpiece such as EH Taylor. And I don’t have to wear a flame retardant suit to drink it.
AND NOW. . .
FunMaster David will be rockin' and sippin' this weekend.
First off, I wanted to alert you all to some important holidays this week. Tuesday is National Margarita Day, Thursday, is National Chili Day (which should be a city-wide celebration in my opinion), and Sunday is National Polar Bear Day. There are plenty of places in town to celebrate all of these!
We may not be in New Orleans but there is still Mardi Gras happening in the area. Mainstrasse Village in Covington will host the 2022 Mainstrasse Mardi Gras Parade on Saturday at 7 pm. The parade begins at 9th and Philadelphia and travels east to Main and then north to 5th. After the parade, there is a Mainstrasse bar crawl with a Hurricane contest and live music. Other Mardi Gras events in the area on Saturday include MadTree (Oakley), The Boardroom (Newport), and on the Purple People Bridge. Bring your beads!
Elsewhere, some of Cincinnati's best bands are back in action this weekend. Cassette Junkies will be at Hard Rock Casino both Friday and Saturday night, while on Saturday, Vinyl Countdown takes the stage at Latitude's in Beechmont on Saturday. In Blue Ash, The Whammies will be at Fretboard while SWAN heads to 1 More Bar & Grill in Bright, Indiana.
IT’S RAINING AND STILL FEBRUARY . . . Anybody have a decent book recommendation? I mean of the life-changing, soul-building variety. One book you could read 100 times.
I nominate The Prince of Tides, Pat Conroy’s masterpiece.
What say you, literati?
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . another from the satellite radio vault. I’m gonna put a playlist together soon: Songs I Hear When I’m Driving Around. This one’ll be on it.
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