Welcome to our little Republic, where cynicism isn’t just a descriptive. It’s a lifestyle. Bengals lose, we gripe. Bengals win, we gripe more. Which could lead someone who has never lived here to wonder what the heck we want.
As soon as the clock died Sunday in Detroit, the moaners came to life. No. Check that. The critics were coming ‘round by halftime. “They won’t beat anybody good if they don’t play two halves.’’
That might be true generally, but it wasn’t Sunday at Ford Field, where the only thing more offensive than the play of the Lions was the sound system that for four solid hours crushed my anvils, to say nothing of my stirrups. (Hint: Louder isn’t better. It’s just louder.)
Analysis: What we learned from Bengals win over Lions
Defensive core: "Eleven guys who are not afraid to come and hit you"
Game recap: Ja'Marr Chase continues his star-turn in win
I understand the Bengals and Reds have created a local nation of skeptics. Hearts frequently broken heal by scabbing over. When it comes to our NFL and MLB teams, our hearts are clots of scar tissue. But if you can’t enjoy 34-11 on the road without loading it with asterisks, when will you enjoy anything? We ain’t Foxboro or Green Bay or Dallas.
Try to live a little.
Without further ado, Ten Things from Men 34, Lions 11:
1. This was the biggest, most telling W of the young year. Yes, it really was. On the road, after a tough loss. It provided two examples of resilience and focus, two hugely important qualities in a season that’s only 17 games.
2. Since ’03, the average margin of victory in the NFL has been three points. Exactly 14.8 percent of wins are by that margin. That figure jumps to 46 percent if you extend the average to seven points. Half the games are decided by a score and an XP. The Bengals won by 23. That’s hard to do.
3. Zac’s Culture Club has been more evident than anyone could have imagined. Ja’Marr Chase’s block of a Lion defender got Joe Mixon into the end zone. Chase’s effort was a thing of beauty, for the mindset it represented. Running full stride half the length of the field, to help a teammate score a TD. Some of us last year (me) questioned the coach’s consistent talk about “changing the culture.’’ We saw it, in Year 2 of Taylor’s tenure, as a big, fat excuse and a not-subtle swipe at what Marvin Lewis had done for the franchise over the years.
4. We might have been wr. . . wr. . . wr. . . not entirely right about that. Taylor completely overhauled the roster, to include only Club members. It’s paying off. Howevuh. . .
5. He still needs to let go at least some of the play-calling duties. Mixon is a very good back, but I don’t need to see him between the tackles seemingly every 1st down.
6. The NFL is a passing league. The Bengals have invested heavy draft capital in that fact. First-round picks since 2017: Two linemen, two wideouts and a quarterback. Price, Ogbuehi, Ross, Burrow, Chase. They’ve also picked two wide receivers in Round 2, Boyd and Higgins. Since ’15, William Jackson III has been the only defensive player taken by the Men in Round 1. Burrow and Chase are home runs waiting to be hit, Boyd is smart and tough in the slot. Higgins is reliable. So pass the ball.
7. Mixon likened Chase to Jerry Rice. Logan Wilson has four interceptions. He’s a linebacker.
8. The play of the Lions gave me serious Lost Decade flashbacks. They truly were that bad. How can Jared Goff go from Super Bowl QB two years ago to the guy we watched Sunday?
9. Reality check is coming Sunday in Baltimore. A loss won’t be telling if it’s close. A win would be.
10. Yeah, I’m an OG. Deal with it. But I don’t need my indoor football games to sound like a Metallica concert. It’s not my fault the Lions are so terrible they cover up their terrible-ness by trying to make fans believe they’re attending a party, not a weekly execution.
THE BEARCATS ARE No. 2! SO WHAT? In the grand picture, the big scheme, the quest for the playoff grail, nothing. One more layer of makeup on the way to the prom. Really, who’s to judge that Cincinnati is better than, yikes, Alabama? Or that Georgia, currently anointed No. 1, is better than UC?
But the rankings are huge, especially in the stratosphere at the top. They ensure that UC gets talked about on ESPN and anywhere else on TV that quasi-am football is being discussed. Their highlights are being shown. For the first time since Brian Kelly’s arrival, Bearcats are national water-cooler conversation for something other than yet another coach skipping town.
Exposure helps recruiting. Recruiting helps winning. We in The Republic love the polls.
TRIP REPORT is non-existent. For me, the trips always have been the icing atop the workaday cake. Entire decades have passed covering the Bengals when the promise of expense-account junkets to exotic locales (New Orleans, Seattle, San Diego, New Jersey) have been the only reason to be excited about the scrappy local 11. The games were the penance paid for a couple nights in San Francisco.
Lately, the away schedules have not been good. This year’s is an abomination: Jersey, Vegas, Denver in December. And Detroit. It’s even more painful when you note the home schedule: Jacksonville, LA Chargers, San Francisco.
Detroit isn’t a trip. It’s a sentence. How bad is Detroit? I spent Saturday night in Toledo.
Which, believe it or not, was OK. They have a nice, modest entertainment district downtown, built around the Mud Hens ballpark. I passed the evening at an Irish-y bar drinking Breckenridge Vanilla Porter, a top-5 pleasure for me, and watching Braves-LA.
It wasn’t exactly La Jolla or Ponte Vedra Beach, though. Please feel sorry for me.
THE QBS NOW ARE REALLY GOOD. So good that PKing ranks Joe Burrow 12th. Here’s his list, in order:
1 Kyler Murray
2 Josh Allen
3 Dak Prescott
4 Lamar Jackson
5 Tom Brady
6 Aaron Rodgers
7 Justin Herbert
8 Patrick Mahomes
9 Matthew Stafford
10 Kirk Cousins
11 Derek Carr
12 Joe Burrow
THE BROWNS ARE A PHYSICAL WRECK. By the end of their L to AZ SUNDAY, Cleveland was down its two best RBs, its two starting tackles and its QB had his arm in a sling.
GREAT BASEBALL NOTE FROM A FOOTBALL GUY. Again from Peter King, re the absurd lengths of postseason ballgames:
And in ’11, I’m sure I was griping about games taking too long.
It’s forced me to make a strategic choice. There is noooo way I’m watching four hours of baseball at one sitting. This fall, I’ve watched the first couple innings of games, and the last couple innings. It’s working well. October baseball has been compelling, the game lengths bearable if you take them in digestible bites. But it’s not helping grow the game and could be dealt with if anybody in charge really wanted to deal with it.
BECAUSE WE’RE PALS, I’m gonna give you a couple wonderful local spots to take an autumn hike. Please come back at me with yours.
My favorite is in Adams County, near The Homeplace: Buzzards Roost Rock. Out Rte. 125 between West Union and Rte. 52. A little hard to find, but stunning this time of year. About a 4-mile loop through magnificent forest, to a terrific view of the valley below. TML sez ckitout.
One more: Rocky Fork State Park. Sort of a mini-Buzzards Roost. Leaf-peeping at its finest.
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . James Brown is not the King of Soul. This guy is.
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