This moved me.
“Tweets will be all over the place today, sorry 🤣 but, in @SportsFanCoach1 fashion, I want to remind you all to think hard about this season and KNOW what we did,” @BengalsCaptain tweeted. “A few LA fans last night acted like we didn't belong. We lost by 3 points. Don't let anyone frame it differently.”
This came on Day 1 of Life After (Bengals) Loss, and I was humbled by the mention from one of the most popular Bengals superfans. I am inspired to fortify that message.
You KNOW what the Bengals did. The facts are there. Once the grieving subsides, what story do you CHOOSE to talk about this season? What is your narrative?
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My story is of a punching bag that punched back. The Bengals nuked expectations and three decades of Bungle Baggage. They were Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase and a late-season surge to the division title. They beat the top two seeds to win the AFC. Of course they deserved to be in the Super Bowl, and of course I was shocked and sad when they lost. But what if we give the Rams credit for deserving this win? It helps me cope.
As fans, we put the onus on our team and diminish the other team’s role. The Rams overcame the adversity of a no-call on Tee Higgins and an injury to O.J. Beckham. They discovered how to ride Matthew Stafford-to-Cooper Kupp for a classic drive – and how to unleash Aaron Donald in the second half, especially on the last stand. The Bengals tried to overcome the Logan Wilson penalty, tried to hold on defensively, tried to mount a tying or winning drive despite an overwhelmed offensive line.
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And, oh, how close they came.
This, after winning six games over the previous two years.
I try to think about that.
I have, all season.
The Bengals seduced me by what they did and by the way they did it. Even now, I keep coming back to how they preached Why Not Us and shifted to It Is Us. I wonder if a little Why Not Me/Us thinking can help all of us.
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“I think that is the legacy of this season,” @anayaoz1 tweeted. “And the understanding that we all may not target the first time, so we may need to be resilient and keep forward. Why Not Us!”
I see hope. I see a quarterback building a legacy if better protected, capable of carrying the Bengals to annual contention and maybe more Super Bowls, but no team plays in a vacuum. If this ends up being all there is, which I doubt, this still is special. Adopting these Bengals and serving as your Bengals fan coach for this improbable season ranks with the greatest sports experiences of my life.
That is my story.
What is yours?
Grief still might cloud your narrative. Grief has no timetable and might linger until you can release it. You still might be reliving the loss and obsessing over the if-onlys, stuck in confusion or anger or sadness. You are not alone.
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Need help letting go? Write an unfiltered email or letter to yourself. Exercise. Be nice to yourself. Do something you enjoy. Do something nice for someone else. Remind yourself you can’t change anything about what happened in the Super Bowl. Ask yourself what you are grateful for this season.
When the stress eases, you might see different ways to look at this season. Your story might change.
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How do you want to look at this Bengals’ season?
If you choose to look at the Bengals as a failure, then they are a failure. To you, they lost a Super Bowl they were winning and should have won. It was 33 years since their last Super Bowl, and there is no guarantee when they will be back. They had a chance to win in the end and could not capitalize on it. Zac Taylor chose the wrong running back and called the wrong plays at the end.
If you choose to see the Bengals as a success, then they are a success. To you, they released the burden of three decades since the last playoff win. They won the division, the conference and your heart. They have Burrow and the start to what could be the greatest era in franchise history.
If you choose to see the Bengals as Same Old Bengals, then they are Same Old Bengals. To you, they are three times a Super Bowl heartbreak. Burrow will end up injured again or leaving. This was a fluke, and Mike Brown’s team will go back to woeful. Nothing has really changed.
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If you choose to look at the officiating as responsible for the Bengals losing, then it is responsible. You took issue with the Wilson penalty because you saw no infraction, because it came so late in the game or because this game had been so loosely officiated. And you won’t forget the spot on Samaje Perine’s late third-down run.
If you choose to see the Bengals as victims of a conspiracy theory ... enjoy yourself. It is the inherent right of each NFL fan to believe your team is getting hosed. Then again, when you tell yourself the NFL, networks and officials plot to keep small-market teams from winning Super Bowls, and made sure the Rams would win this “home” game (same with Tampa Bay last year), what if you are shielding yourself from admitting the Bengals lost?
Reality can be brutal.
In 1940, the Bears beat legendary quarterback Sammy Baugh and Washington 73-0 for the NFL title, but here is a what-if for you: Chicago led just 7-0 when Charlie Malone dropped Baugh’s sure touchdown pass. Reporters asked Baugh if that would have affected the game. “Yeah,” Baugh said, “it would have made it 73-7.”
Reality also can be wonderful.
The Bengals went from 4-11-1 to 10-7. They won the AFC North. They won a playoff game for the first time since 1992. They won the AFC. They reached the Super Bowl for the first time since 1989. If somebody tells you they didn’t belong, for whatever reason, that is their story.
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Embrace yours, whatever it is, when you are ready.
O Captain My Captain?
“Part of what made this season special is that the team's victories against the odds reflected our own so much,” he tweeted. “Now the haters will be back. The pseudo fans who only talk when we fail. Be strong, be confident, and know this is just the beginning. WHO DEY!”
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